why say anything nice?

You have reached Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces -- although I don't suppose that latter part means much to you, does it?

I cannot currently answer your call, but do please leave a message. I will, most likely, get back to you as soon as I can.

((OOC: Jade's voicemail, used for IC contact. If your character is leaving message, go ahead and specify whether it's text, video or voice. For OOC contact, feel free to PM this account or reply to the above entry, which can be used for concrit, plotting or general contact.))